It was purely exhilarating (those guys are so cool)!
And just as you were all listening intently and starting to feel understood, all the self-righteous, judgmental, “I know better” people started calling in with their high and mighty views of what constitutes a ‘Good Person’ (see last week’s topic).
Just remember that these guys are ALWAYS the first to jump up, point the finger and criticize. And the fact of the matter is, who Cares what They think?? All that matters is what YOU think. This is Your life, Your journey. So decide for yourself what’s right and wrong. Have an opinion cause you’re entitled to one!
Having said that, if you’ve been contemplating cheating, how do you identify if it’s ‘right’ for you? You can’t expect someone else to tell you if you should let the thought of cheating eventuate. No one knows your situation better than you.
Now obviously you’re not doing this just for the sake of being a ‘bad person’. Hopefully you’re not doing this to ‘get back at’ your partner for cheating.
The reasons for which people contemplate looking for fulfillment outside of their relationships are so varied. I’m sure you have your own reasons. What it comes down to is- there is something you are missing, answers you are seeking and you feel this experience will give you all you need to be more fulfilled in life.
Does this mean you should go through with it?
Not just yet… you have to ask yourself these two questions:
1. What are the chances (0-100%) of my partner finding out/ me getting caught?
This will highly depend on how prepared you are for the journey you’re about to embark on. Have you read and understood all the steps and Guide Lines in the book? Are you committed to implementing them along the way?
2. How WILLING are you to lose your partner? Are you accepting of the likely consequences should you get caught?
Based on your answers – The likelihood of you getting caught
– How accepting you are of the thought of losing your partner
you can better make a decision. Of course, the ultimate situation is one where the risk of getting caught is close to none and you have identified and accepted the risks of getting caught. Not the situation in which you face high risks of getting caught and can’t imagine a life without your partner!
Thinking of Cheating?
Here’s How to Do it Right, if at all…
Chapter 1: To Cheat, or Not to Cheat? (excerpt)
‘To cheat, or not to cheat? This is the hardest yet most crucial question you’ll need to answer for yourself. To do so you need to acknowledge, firstly, that the only person you are answering this question for is yourself.
This is not about justifying your decision to anyone, even your ultra-ego. This is about knowing, analysing and understanding your motives. Doing this will mean that you’re clear about what you want, why you want it and whether or not what you risk to lose is of grave or minor consequence to you.
As I said earlier, there are circumstances under which cheating can add value to your life, or be an area of great regret. The goal here is to be sure that you’re not in the latter situation. To do this, take a step back and look at your bigger picture. For instance, don’t let lust be the sole and primary decision maker. Sure, the lead guitarist maybe giving you that look that makes your insides pulsate while your boyfriend becomes a distance memory, but at this point you need to think beyond the present moment of heightened sexual desire. You need to think past the thrill of breaking the rules.’